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Review
Wow, this book was gorgeous! A beautifully written, emotional story of first love in difficult circumstances. It’s not all hearts and flowers – in fact, the story takes you to some very dark places. But it also made me laugh, had me flat out swooning, and left me in a massive puddle of goo on the floor, grinning like an idiot.
Almost. Almost
How I hate that word and the way it defines me. Almost raped. Almost over it. Almost normal.
I can almost forget. Way worse, I can almost remember.
Jess is 17 years old, and horribly traumatised after almost being raped 3 years ago. And even though she can’t really remember what happened, she is haunted by nightmares, suffering from PTSD and trying desperately to find normal. Enter Gray Porter. Gorgeous, popular, funny and sweet, Gray agrees to help Jess out by pretending to be her boyfriend for the summer, thereby convincing her parents that she is ‘normal’ enough to move on with her life and go to College. Their fake relationship starts of brilliantly, with both of them playing their parts, but it all becomes complicated when feelings become involved, and the secrets from Jess and Gray’s pasts are revealed.
OMG, I loved Jess! She’s so broken by what has happened to her, but she’s also an incredibly strong character. She’s no-nonsense about what’s going on with her, she doesn’t mope, she just carries on, dealing however she can.
I’ve made a ton of progress with faking it, that’s for sure. And so far, so good. No, I’m not ‘better’. I’m the same; but none of my pretending seems to make me worse. So it’s kind of working.
Gray is just teen perfection, and absolute proof that Jess’s bumper sticker is spot on – Member: BBB. Boys in Books are Better (right on!). He is 100%, absolutely there for Jess; protective, supportive and understanding, he is also really funny, and works hard to make her happy, and put a smile on her face – he even speaks like Mr Darcy because he knows she loves it 🙂 The story is told in dual POVs, so we know Gray’s thoughts, his motivations behind why he agrees to the deal, and his true feelings towards Jess. We also get to watch his struggle between his overwhelming feelings for her, and his desire to tell her the big secret he is harbouring, even if it crushes everything he has fought so hard for.
The story of Jess’s assault comes out slowly. We see bits and pieces through her nightmares until the whole story comes out. What I loved about this book was that we got to see not only what Jess went through, but also the impact it had on the others that were involved in the events of that fateful night, and its fallout. Jess obviously suffers terribly from what happened to her, but the guilt that she feels over what her family go through on her behalf, and her need to be ok for them, was just heart breaking.
But lightening this, the relationship between Jess and Gray was so, so beautiful. It started slowly, with lots of bantering and hilariously flirty emails, and then there were lots of tender moments between them (flashback to nights spent at the skating rink and couples skating… *sigh*). Knowing what Jess had gone through, and watching her fight to overcome her fears so that she could be with Gray, I just wanted to cheer for her! It was impossible not to get swept away at the wonder and intensity of first love. And their first kiss was like a fairytale – it’s been quoted a number of times in other reviews, but I just couldn’t resist putting it in again…
I let go of her hands so I can pull her closer. Her arms go around my neck and she’s coiled her fingers into the back of my hair. The soft trembling feel of her lips sends lightning down my spine. And I soar, fly, and die of happiness all in the same second.
SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
Adding some humour to the story are Gray’s friends Corey and Michelle, and Jess’s sister Kika. Between them, and Jess and Gray’s banter, there is plenty of light and funny to counteract the seriousness of the subject matter.
I loved this book and read it in a day, unable to put it down. A must read!
4.5 stars