{"id":41600,"date":"2019-04-01T08:00:11","date_gmt":"2019-04-01T12:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/?p=41600"},"modified":"2019-03-31T20:10:03","modified_gmt":"2019-04-01T00:10:03","slug":"cover-reveal-excerpt-never-fall-in-love-with-a-rockstar-a-rockstar-love-story-by-rachel-higginson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/?p=41600","title":{"rendered":"Cover Reveal &#038; Excerpt: Never Fall in Love with a Rockstar: A Rockstar Love Story by Rachel Higginson"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Never Fall in Love with a Rockstar: A Rockstar Love Story<\/strong><\/h4>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>by Rachel Higginson<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Releasing &#8211; 25 June 2019<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Pre-Order today!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2WA4mzK\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Amazon<\/a>\u00a0 | \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/apple.co\/2uCsJke\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">iBooks<\/a> \u00a0| \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/bit.ly\/2UoVcby\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">B&amp;N<\/a><\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"41601\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/?attachment_id=41601\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Never-Fall-in-Love-with-a-Rockstar.jpg?fit=800%2C1280&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"800,1280\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1542741303&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Never Fall in Love with a Rockstar\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Never-Fall-in-Love-with-a-Rockstar.jpg?fit=141%2C225&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-41601 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Never-Fall-in-Love-with-a-Rockstar.jpg?resize=640%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"1024\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Never-Fall-in-Love-with-a-Rockstar.jpg?w=800&amp;ssl=1 800w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Never-Fall-in-Love-with-a-Rockstar.jpg?resize=94%2C150&amp;ssl=1 94w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Never-Fall-in-Love-with-a-Rockstar.jpg?resize=141%2C225&amp;ssl=1 141w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Never-Fall-in-Love-with-a-Rockstar.jpg?resize=600%2C960&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Never-Fall-in-Love-with-a-Rockstar.jpg?resize=650%2C1040&amp;ssl=1 650w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>Blurb<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>My name is Clover Calloway and I\u2019ve lived two separate lives.<\/p>\n<p>The first, I like to call \u201cmy past.\u201d I never talk about it. I try not to think about it. My rockstar days of playing in one of the hottest bands on the planet are over. Along with the most volatile, beautiful, tragic love story of all time.<\/p>\n<p>Over the past five years, I\u2019ve settled into my second life. My \u201cnormal life.\u201d The one where I work a normal job, hang out with normal people and fall in love with a normal, but wonderful guy. The life where I\u2019m admittedly a little bored, but also safe.<\/p>\n<p>My past wasn\u2019t boring. But my past broke my heart into a million, unfixable pieces. So, I\u2019m determined to keep it where it belongs\u2014behind me.<\/p>\n<p>And the man responsible for the shattering of me? Malachi Porter, lead singer and mastermind of Bright Tragedy, should stay there too. Far away from me and this idyllic life I\u2019ve carved out for myself.<\/p>\n<p>But what happens when my two lives collide?<\/p>\n<p>When Malachi comes crashing into my perfectly normal world, he threatens to destroy it, promises to annihilate everything I\u2019ve replaced him with.<\/p>\n<p>He upends everything I thought I wanted and forces me to question the reasons I left Bright Tragedy all those years ago.<\/p>\n<p>But I didn\u2019t walk away five years ago, I ran. As fast as I could go. And while my heart is whispering that it\u2019s different this time\u2014that he\u2019s different\u2014my brain is screaming for me to run again.<\/p>\n<p>Malachi Porter isn\u2019t a normal guy. And he doesn\u2019t belong in my \u201cnormal life.\u201d But, nevertheless, he\u2019s bound and determined to make a place for himself here.<\/p>\n<p>I just hope my heart can survive him, that we don\u2019t burn into another bright tragedy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Find\u00a0<em>Never Fall in Love with a Rockstar<\/em> on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/book\/show\/44147839-never-fall-in-love-with-a-rockstar\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GOODREADS<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>Excerpt<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chapter One<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My fingers flew over the keys. Up and down. Black and white. Sharp and natural and sharp, sharp, sharp. The damper pedal lifted with my momentum. I pressed down again, elongating the notes, pulling the best of the melody out of the song and letting it hang in the air, notes dancing and twirling and singing in the emotional symphony. Beethoven had never sounded so good. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I took a breath. Closing my eyes at the final, heart-stopping crescendo, I lifted my fingers and let the last notes resonate through the vaulted ceilings in perfect harmony. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the sound died and the song drifted from the building, I couldn\u2019t help but wait for applause. It was ingrained in my nature. My entire life I\u2019d played to crowds much bigger than this one. And so, I sat there, my breath trapped inside my chest, my eyes closed in anticipation and\u2026 nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There was no eruption of cheering and wild clapping. There was no demand for an encore. There was no stadium filled with rabid fans, blissed out at the end of the best show of their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Only one person was clapping for this performance and it was Maya from the MAC makeup counter. And she only did it because she knew it made me happy. I grinned at her over my shoulder. She clapped louder, jumping up and down in a pure attempt to feed my ego. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A cluster of teenage girls moved between us, laughing and chatting, eyes glued on all the pretty things around them. I quickly turned away, ducking my head and focusing on the gorgeous grand piano that filled the center of the glistening lobby. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nobody recognized me these days, but better safe than sorry. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the shoppers had moved on, I gathered my music and slipped it inside a folder. Maya was still slow clapping by the time I reached the counter that was covered with tubes of lipstick. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWoman, you were on fire today,\u201d she cheered. \u201cI was seriously moved by that last piece. Tears, Clover. Actual tears.\u201d She pointed at the corner of her eye where her electric blue eyeliner was smudged. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cMoonlight Sonata.\u201d I took a steadying breath, banishing the lingering emotions that clung to the edges of me. Beethoven\u2019s masterful piece was one of my favorites too. And I rarely played it. But today I\u2019d been in the mood for melancholy and memories. And that song, above all others, despite what the tabloids and bloggers said about me once upon a time, weighed the heaviest with my past. \u201cIt\u2019s a good one.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She leaned forward on her elbows. \u201cYou\u2019re stupid good, you know that?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I tilted my head, letting my long, fiery red curls fall over my shoulder and partially hide my face. \u201cWhat you really mean is I\u2019m good for Macy\u2019s standards, right?\u201d I looked behind me as Walter arrived and started to set up for his three-hour block. Macy\u2019s hired us for elegant entertainment. We were the background music for the high-end department stores evening and weekend shoppers. There was a rotating total of six pianists and each of us were happy for the work. It was a relatively easy way to make a hundred bucks. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This was all part of my new normal. Trying to live and eat and sleep off the grind of regular employment. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once upon a time, my piano-playing skills made me lots and lots of money. Not that I put in fewer hours. But it seemed easier to make money as a headline band dropping platinum albums. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It seemed easier, I realized. But it hadn\u2019t been. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I breathed deeply of this normal life I lived now and smiled at the simplicity of it. Sorrow and heartache tugged at the corners of my thoughts, desperate to get my attention and claim some space in this adjusted life of mine, but I refused to give them room. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They were banished, along with everything else that used to be. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cGirl, I mean you\u2019re good period. Stop playin\u2019.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cYou\u2019re really sweet. Thank you.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She winked at me. \u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhat is all this?\u201d I asked, picking up a random tube of lipstick and turning it over. Russian Red. \u201cWow, this is bright.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cRestocking,\u201d she sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s a pain in the ass. But also, better than giving tweens makeovers all day.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhat about former tweens? Do you have time for one of those?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She laughed her deep, throaty laugh that always made me smile. Maya and I had gotten to know each other slowly over the last few years after I\u2019d first started playing at Macy\u2019s. She\u2019d been one of my most favorite parts of slowing down and finding normal. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She was a real friend. And a real person. There was nothing shallow about her. She jumped right into a deep friendship and demanded raw honesty. There were still parts of my life I kept a secret from her, but that wasn\u2019t because I didn\u2019t want to tell her the whole sordid history of how I\u2019d ended up in Kansas City, Missouri. It was for her safety. And mine. And to honor all those pesky nondisclosures I\u2019d signed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Her big brown eyes widened. \u201cOh, my gosh, is tonight the night? The big night?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I nibbled my bottom lip and nodded. \u201cYes.\u201d My stomach flipped with anticipation for the surprise that waited for me just hours from now. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She leaned forward, bouncing on her toes with shared excitement. \u201cWhat do you think it is? Oh, my gosh, what if he proposes?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I lifted a shoulder and felt my stomach drop to my toes. Equal parts dread and hope spiraled through me, chasing each other, racing to see which emotion would win. \u201cI have no idea what it is. He\u2019s so excited though. He can barely contain himself. Yesterday, he had outfits spread out on his bed like he was deciding which one to wear.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cOh my god, Clover! This has to be it.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I shrugged again. \u201cIt could honestly be anything, but a proposal, Maya? For real, that would be crazy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWould you say yes?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I took too long to think about my answer. Maya wanted an easy, breezy yes. She wanted to know that my relationship with Adam Shepherd was a whirlwind romance that had totally and completely swept me off my feet. She wanted a real-life romantic comedy and epic love story wrapped in one. She wanted me to be happy. And it was so sweet of her. But it was also unrealistic.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019d already had all of that. And it had ended in the worst kind of tragedy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Her question was supposed to have an easy answer. Even if I wasn\u2019t ready for the proposal now, I was supposed to want it sometime, right? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Meet a normal guy. Fall in love with a normal guy. Marry a normal guy. Live a very normal happily ever after.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every girl\u2019s dream. Except mine. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWe\u2019ve only been dating for six months,\u201d I told her, laughing, playing it off, shining light on her absolutely ridiculous idea. \u201cHe hasn\u2019t even told me he loves me yet.\u201d A sick feeling rolled through my stomach, my body wholly rejecting the idea of saying those words to anyone. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She blinked, her fake lashes fanning over high cheekbones. \u201cOh.\u201d Maya was a romantic to her bones. She wanted everyone to fall in love. If a man so much as knelt to tie his shoe in front of the makeup counter, she assumed it was some elaborate proposal stunt. \u201cWell, maybe tonight\u2019s the night for I love yous!\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My heart thrummed with the idea, bossing my nerves back in line. This was an easier question to answer, although she hadn\u2019t asked it. Would I tell Adam I loved him if he said the words first? Yes. Yes, I would. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At least, I hoped I would. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes my mouth had a mind of its own.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I bat my lashes at her. \u201cBetter make me look pretty just in case.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She grinned and grabbed the tube of Russian Red. \u201cThe good news is, if he doesn\u2019t love you yet, he will after I\u2019m done with you!\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jumping up onto one of the high back stools, I set my messenger bag full of sheet music at my feet and waited patiently for Maya to make me gorgeous. The woman was a magician when it came to makeup. Seriously, she could make anything look beautiful. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not that she had to try very hard. She was truly one of the most stunning women I had ever seen. Her dark skin was absolute perfection. Her natural hair, wild and curly and edgy, so perfectly fitting to her larger than life personality. And her curves the kind that every woman wanted, dreamed of, spent hours in the gym to get. She was one of MAC\u2019s bestsellers consistently because everybody wanted to look like her.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hell, most women wanted to be her.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also, because she could transform anyone from blah to banging with a few mystical strokes of her brushes. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thirty minutes later, I barely recognized myself in the small circular mirror on the counter. She\u2019d given me smoky eyes, highlighted cheekbones, and dang that Russian Red if it didn\u2019t look amazing on my lips next to my natural red hair. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cNo way,\u201d I whispered as she grinned over my shoulder. She\u2019d highlight the dusting of freckles over my nose and under my eyes and given me perfectly porcelain skin that seemed to have no blemishes. Although, I knew that to be a lie. I looked better than I ever had. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I looked even better than when I\u2019d had an actual makeup team.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cYou\u2019re going home with this lipstick,\u201d she ordered. \u201cYou need to own it and wear it every damn day.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt makes my hair look so red.\u201d I groaned. My hair and I had been at odds since I could remember. There was a time I did anything to hide the crimson curls. I straightened, I tied it back and hid it under stocking caps and finally, when the PR team got involved, I colored it in crazy vibrant colors like neon pink or bold purple. I loved the fun shades, even if I looked like a Barbie.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But, I\u2019d given all that up five years ago and went back to my natural shade. The curls were more manageable than trying to straighten this mess every day. Eventually, my new hair stylist had found the perfect red to match my roots. I didn\u2019t even get it dyed anymore. This was just me. Clover Callaway, completely natural. Completely anonymous.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nobody expected the red curls. They were my new signature. And I was slowly learning to love them. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like I was slowly learning to love this life. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cYou\u2019re welcome,\u201d Maya repeated, laughing. \u201cTell you what. If I had your hair, I would rock the shit out of it.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that I believed. \u201cM, if I had your hair, I would never worry about my hair again.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She bugged her eyes out at me. \u201cYou think this is easy? You have no idea how long this takes me every day.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cSame,\u201d I sighed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Shaking her head, she murmured, \u201cI guess the grass is always greener.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cNow isn\u2019t that the truth.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An older woman and a thirty-something younger version of her stepped up to the counter, pointing out eye shadows. \u201cThat\u2019s my cue,\u201d Maya whispered, totaling up the lipstick with her employee discount. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I gave her my credit card. Honestly, whenever she picked out makeup for me, I gave her my money. Maya knew best. \u201cThanks for this.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She grinned at me. \u201cGood luck! I want all the details tomorrow.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To be honest, I wasn\u2019t expecting anything as grand as I love yous. Adam and I had met at one of my other jobs\u2014local photographer. He had been a groomsman at a wedding I helped shoot. We\u2019d hit it off when he\u2019d gotten socked in the face with a wayward basketball.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The groomsmen and groom, while waiting for the bride and her attendants to get ready, had been messing around in the church\u2019s gym. My photographer friend, River, and I had been shooting fun photos of the pickup game in their tuxes when Adam had gotten distracted and taken a ball to the face. Blood had gushed everywhere, spurting out his swollen nose all over his tux. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">His excuse? He\u2019d been staring at me and hadn\u2019t seen it coming. I\u2019d rushed to his aid and helped nurse his poor nose back to semi-normal, so he wouldn\u2019t look like a cartoon for the wedding pictures. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He\u2019d asked me out before the night was over, and now we were dating. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Adam was one of those guys that always made things easy. He was laid-back, responsible, and adorable. The last six months had been a surprising whirlwind of romantic dates and constant butterflies. And tonight, he\u2019d planned something epic for our six-month anniversary. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I had never celebrated relationship anniversaries with anyone before, so my expectations were low. But I was also ridiculously excited. It made me feel special. I loved the idea of celebrating small milestones with this simmering anticipation for more to come.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And it just fit Adam in every way. Of course, he would make a sweet thing out of our six-month. Of course, he would make me feel cherished. Of course, he would make this about us. And not about himself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I left Macy\u2019s in my cool blue Mini Cooper, my favorite of all the cars in the world, and drove directly to his house. We lived across town from each other, so I didn\u2019t have time to go all the way home after my shift before I was supposed to be at Adam\u2019s house in Kansas City suburbia. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He was thirty-one with a stable job as an IT guy at a tech company, which seemed redundant to me. But he assured me even tech companies have tech problems. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">His house was bigger than what he needed as a single guy. It seemed huge for him alone. When he\u2019d first moved in, he\u2019d shared it with three roommates. They\u2019d all gotten married in the meantime and moved out. Over the last two years, he\u2019d been slowly remodeling and updating. Making it his. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I didn\u2019t know why I found that attractive, but I did. It showed me how stable he was. How reliable. How invested he was in his life. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And for those reasons, I loved his house. It was this symbol of responsible adulthood and trustworthiness. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was an older one and a half story home with the master bedroom on the main floor and three bedrooms and an adorable terrace that looked out over his sprawling backyard. He\u2019d let me plant a flower garden on the terrace last spring complete with pallet planters he\u2019d built for me and hanging pots. It was my favorite place in the entire world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The hot summer air stuck to my skin as I got out of my car and hurried toward his front door. I didn\u2019t want to start sweating and ruin all of Maya\u2019s hard work. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pushing through the open door, I stepped inside, feeling a little extra ownership in Adam\u2019s place. Six months was a milestone. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Six months meant something special. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cHello?\u201d I called out, feeling brave that I hadn\u2019t even texted to let him know I was on my way. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019d earned the right to show up unannounced, right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He stepped out of his bedroom, tugging a t-shirt down at his waist. My eyes lingered on the smooth, stretch of skin across his midsection and I felt a burst of warmth bloom through me. This was going to be a fun night. It had to be. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cHey,\u201d he grinned at me. \u201cYou\u2019re here.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He was so happy to see me. It was written all over his handsome face. My heart swelled in my chest as I realized this was what a normal, healthy relationship felt like. This was what it felt like to be happy. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cHey,\u201d I repeated. \u201cI\u2019m here.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We moved together across the living room, sidestepping furniture and the big, clunky coffee table he\u2019d built himself on his first try at furniture making. Our arms wrapped around each other and he dipped me into a long, satisfying kiss. Butterflies buzzed beneath my skin at the sensation of his tongue tangling with mine. The scruff of his jaw wasn\u2019t typical, and I shivered at the sensation. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe we didn\u2019t have plans tonight. Maybe we were going to hang out here instead and find other ways to celebrate six months. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cAre you ready for this?\u201d he asked when he\u2019d pulled away. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cDepends,\u201d I laughed. \u201cAre you ready to tell me what we\u2019re doing?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He took a step back, barely able to contain his excitement. No offense to my bedroom skills, but any hopes of staying in tonight were dashed in that one uncharacteristic skip in his step.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out printer paper with barcodes in black ink. \u201cI have tickets to Bright Tragedy! They\u2019re playing at the Uptown Theater tonight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">His words were a bullet to my good mood, killing whatever happiness and anticipation had been inside me. My heart dropped like a stone to my stomach, calcifying and fossilizing and drying up all at once. \u201cThe Uptown Theater is too small for them,\u201d I heard myself say, my brain relying on logistics to make this not true. To change what he\u2019d said into something different, something that didn\u2019t make me want to run away from his house, from this city&#8230; from this country. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt\u2019s a more intimate show,\u201d he explained, his grin ticking wider. \u201cThis tour they\u2019re doing is all about small shows and private meet and greets. I missed the tickets for the meet and greet, but I managed to grab the main event tonight.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">His grin stayed in place, waiting for my reaction. I did breathe a small sigh of relief that he\u2019d missed the intimate photo op. God, I couldn\u2019t even imagine the shit show that would have been. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You wouldn\u2019t have gone,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> my brain whispered honestly. And it was true. If Adam had tried to drag me to a private event where I would have been forced to interact with the members of his and the entire world\u2019s favorite rock band and take pictures with them and shake their hands\u2026 I would have run screaming from his house. That was the worst-case scenario for me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But a concert was a different story. Not because I had any interest in watching Bright Tragedy live or seeing them in person ever again. But because I wanted to preserve what I had with Adam. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I refused to let Bright Tragedy steal any more of my happiness. I refused to let them take anything more from me than they already had. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But this wasn\u2019t a celebration for me. This was one of the hardest things I would ever have to do. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And the worst part\u2026 I couldn\u2019t even tell Adam why. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He didn\u2019t need to know that I used to be a member of his favorite band. Or that I had grown up with the guys. Or that the lead singer, Malachi Porter, had been my first boyfriend. My first everything. My only everything until Adam. I had loved him with all that I had in me. I had thought we would get married. That our entire lives would be each other and our band. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And that Malachi, or Kai as his adoring fans knew him, had hurt me in the worst way possible\u2014that he had let our love burn into the brightest tragedy and left me ashes and dust and wisps of nothing. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He\u2019d left me barely breathing. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He\u2019d left me hurting more than I knew was humanly possible. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With no other choice, I\u2019d fled. I\u2019d disappeared. I\u2019d carved out my normal, safe, happy existence without him. And without the world-famous band I\u2019d helped build.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But now, my wonderfully normal boyfriend was asking me to go back to that dark place and I didn\u2019t know how to tell him no without exposing all my shadowy secrets. Secrets he would never forgive me for.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Secrets I could hardly explain fully or reconcile with the girl I was now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cAre you okay?\u201d he asked, concern drawing his eyebrows together. His strong hands landed on my shoulders, rubbing soothingly. \u201cDo you not want to go?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I tried to smile, but it wobbled. And then it died completely. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I just don\u2019t love their music like you do.\u201d Panic seized hold of my heart, squeezing it in an iron fist. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">His face fell, crumbling with disappointment. The grip on my heart tightened. \u201cOh, but it could still be fun? We\u2019re in the balcony. We\u2019ll get drinks\u2026\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I couldn\u2019t stomach the way he was looking at me. I couldn\u2019t be responsible for ruining this for him. I knew I had to face this. I knew I had to go. It was the only way to save my past from totally screwing up my future. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If I told Adam the whole truth, he would never look at me the same. He would never treat me the same. He would never\u2026 \u00a0want me the same. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I would become an idol. And my past would become a badge of honor. And his feelings for me would become plastic. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But the band\u2026 if they saw me. If Malachi saw me\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They wouldn\u2019t, I decided. They won\u2019t. They can\u2019t. How many fans did I recognize at any of our concerts? Zero. The stage lights were too bright. The crush of the crowd was too big. The adrenaline of the performance was too intense. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And besides, Malachi wouldn\u2019t be in the right state of mind anyway. He wouldn\u2019t even notice me. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I ignored the despair that colored everything inside me black. Death seeped inside my new life, turning everything cold and corpse-like. My bones grew stiff and my muscles weakened. My heartbeat slowed to a crawl. My lungs shook with the effort to draw breath.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt\u2019s fine,\u201d I heard myself say, desperation to save this easy new life of mine setting in. I wanted to shake my limbs loose of the rigor mortis. \u201cIt will be fun.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He squinted at me, trying to make sense of the hollow sound of my voice. \u201cI promise, you\u2019re going to love it. Love them,\u201d he said, overly enthusiastic. \u201cYou\u2019ll see why I think they\u2019re amazing. You\u2019ll be a super fan by the end of the night.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I smiled, it was paper thin and fake, but it held. He was wrong. I had already been a super fan. I had been their biggest fan. I had wanted them to have the most success. To be the greatest thing that had ever graced the stage. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now I knew better. I had loved a broken thing because I wanted to fix it. Instead, it had broken me too. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cMaybe,\u201d I told Adam, knowing the truth would be the opposite. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">His answering smile restored some of my faith in life. I wasn\u2019t the same girl I was five years ago. I wasn\u2019t a part of Bright Tragedy. And I wasn\u2019t in love with Malachi Porter. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But I did like Adam. And I could support him this one night. I would slip inside the theater, be a good girlfriend and hang out on the balcony. And then we would leave at the end of the night and life would go on. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Malachi and the guys would move on to the next city.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I would move on with my new normal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Easy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Never Fall in Love with a Rockstar: A Rockstar Love Story by Rachel Higginson &nbsp; Releasing &#8211; 25 June 2019 &nbsp; Pre-Order today! Amazon\u00a0 | \u00a0iBooks \u00a0| \u00a0B&amp;N &nbsp; &nbsp; Blurb My name is Clover [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":41602,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","yasr_overall_rating":0,"yasr_post_is_review":"","yasr_auto_insert_disabled":"","yasr_review_type":"Product","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[290],"tags":[300,196],"class_list":["post-41600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-book-news","tag-cover-reveal","tag-rachel-higginson"],"yasr_visitor_votes":{"stars_attributes":{"read_only":false,"span_bottom":false},"number_of_votes":0,"sum_votes":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Never-Fall-in-Love-with-a-Rockstar-small.jpg?fit=200%2C300&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7gaNL-aOY","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=41600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41600\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/41602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=41600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=41600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.escapistbookblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=41600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}