The Tragedy of Felix and Jake by J. Daniels is live, and it’s an amazing read!
I have so many feelings about this book. It’s so funny, so emotional, and so heartwrenching, and I feel like I’ve been on a bit of a rollercoaster, but wow, what a beautiful read! A dramatic and forbidden(ish) m/m romance between two addicts who long to be together when everyone is telling them they can’t be, this is a story about the power of love – love for your family, for your partner, and for yourself. It sucked me in and didn’t let go, and I absolutely loved it!
Amazon | Paperback | Special Edition Paperback
Blurb
From New York Times bestselling author, J. Daniels, comes an all-new standalone forbidden romance.
They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
They say the best way to stay sober is to love yourself.
I’m great at making bad decisions.
Addict? Check. Poor impulse control? Check. Obsessed with the guy I’m sponsoring? Check Check Check.
There is no one worse for me to want in my bed than Jake Tully. He’s hot and grumpy and literally a terrible idea. Terrible. Worse, no one has ever made me feel the way he does — valued. But here I am – thinking about him again.
Falling for my sponsor is not my worst idea yet, but it’s damn close.
Felix Fields is everything good. He’s thoughtful and kind. I can’t help but think about every bad thing we could do between these sheets.
But we can’t be together. I’m not willing to risk my recovery for anyone – even if he might be perfect for me.
Finding a love like this is nothing short of a tragedy.
**Author’s Note: This book ends in a Happily Ever After, but getting there isn’t easy.
Review
“We’ll be okay”
5 stars
Oh wow, where to begin with this review. I have so many feelings about this book. It’s so funny, so emotional, and so heartwrenching, and I feel like I’ve been on a bit of a rollercoaster, but wow, what a beautiful read! A dramatic and forbidden(ish) m/m romance between two addicts who long to be together when everyone is telling them they can’t be, this is a story about the power of love – love for your family, for your partner, and for yourself. It sucked me in and didn’t let go, and I absolutely loved it!
Firstly, don’t let the title scare you. Yes, this is an emotional read, with heavy subject matter, but the majority of it is actually quite light-hearted, with lots of moments that made me laugh and smile. This book is a complete standalone, but it does have a fun tie-in to the Alabama Summer series. Jake is the younger brother of CJ (from What I Need), and we get to see some of the Alabama crew as side characters, which is fun.
Jake is a recovering addict who suffers a relapse, with devastating consequences. He’s pretty much lost everything, but his big brother CJ is there for him, quickly setting him up in his spare room, and getting him back into regular meetings and back on the road to recovery again. It’s at one of his meetings that Jake meets Felix. A fellow recovering addict, Felix reaches out to Jake and they click immediately. Though Felix is the perky, quirky sunshine to Jake’s grumpy broodiness, they form a connection, understanding each other in a way that others in their lives don’t, and Felix becomes Jake’s sponsor. The two lonely men become close friends, but there’s attraction there as well, but just when Jake has a glimmer of the chance of something meaningful in his life, they’re both told that new relationships are not recommended upon while you’re in recovery.
Felix has no idea how angry I was reading those guidelines the other night. It’s like someone saying “Yeah. You’re doing a great job with your sobriety and everything, but fuck you for wanting someone after messing up so badly. For thinking you deserve someone. You’re still too much of a loser and we know you’ll screw it up. Stay alone and sober, prick.”
But Felix is fiercely determined, and he doesn’t let guidelines stand in the way of his flirtatious nature, letting Jake know in no uncertain terms that he wants to try for more.
“We’d be so good together. I just know we would.”
I close my eyes as this ache in my chest burns and burns, and if life doesn’t stop fucking me soon, I’m going to lose my mind.
“Everything is stacked against us,” I say. “We’d be a tragedy, Felix. This wouldn’t work.”
His smile is confusing.
“You don’t agree?” I ask, and how fucked up is it that I actually hope he doesn’t.
“No. I agree.” He steps closer and presses one (last) kiss to my mouth. “I just know that wouldn’t stop me.
Felix made me laugh so many times! His cheery disposition is so incredible when you look at his situation, his past, and the sheer tragedy of his life. He’s funny and flirty, and so full of love for everybody in his life, and I just adored him.
“I love you so much, it’s sick.” I throw my arms around him, squeeze for a solid second, and then release. “What a great first hug.”
“We really didn’t hug. I just stood here.”
“I felt the embrace of your body.”
“Never say that again.”
“It sounded sexual. I hear it now.”
“I’m leaving,” he says as he gives me his back.
But in the midst of the laughs, we get to know these boys on a deep level, and my heart ached for them, for all they have been through, and for the love and sense of belonging that they both so desperately want.
I’ve lived so long without anyone giving a shit or caring about me, and I’m sure I could live longer without it, but I don’t want to.
I want to matter to someone every day forever.
And I want that someone to be Jake.
Their need for each other becomes impossible to resist, and against the ‘guidelines’, and the advice of everybody in their lives, they give in to their attraction and fall hard and fast for each other. It’s fun, playful, intense and emotional, and it’s so damn sexy! They’re open with each other about everything, they talk about their journeys, their struggles, and their recovery, and they support and encourage each other through the ups and downs they experience, and God, I love their dynamic!
“I don’t think you’re nothing special or just another dick that gets me hard. I’ve never thought that about you. And I’d be a shitty boyfriend if I did. In fact, I will beat the fuck out of you if you ever let someone treat you like that.”
He blinks, letting his mouth fall open.
“That was actually really romantic, Jake. In like, a fucked-up way. But still. My heart totally liked that.”
And the romance! OMG, what a beautiful, beautiful love story! The love that Jake and Felix have for each other is all-consuming, and I feel like I lived it with them. I love that they found each other, I love that they gave into it all so easily, and I love that they found something so incredible together.
“You’re my fucking soulmate, Felix, and I don’t even believe in that shit.”
But their recovery is a delicate thing, and though they do find each other, they’re still struggling with their demons and wrestling with their addictions, and you can feel how much they hate it. It broke my heart, and as we follow them through the highs and lows, oh, I ached for them both! Emotions run high, and it’s dramatic and intense, and at one point I read with tears streaming down my face at the unfairness of it all. But wow, what a journey we go on with these two men.
“I’ve waited my whole life for you. And for this. Us.” I squeeze his hands. “You’re my fucking family, Jake, and we’ll fight this. Together.”
There is an epilogue which finishes off the story beautifully, and I finished this book feeling satisfied and so happy for the happy ending the Jake and Felix fought so hard for.
This is a really beautiful read. I loved it so much.
5 stars.
An Advanced Review Copy was generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.