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Review
SO MUCH EMOTION!! But, God, I loved it!
5 incredible stars
Nastya and Josh are two incredible complex characters, both having suffered extreme tragedy in their lives. Initially drawn together because they recognize the brokenness in each other, Nastya shows up uninvited into Josh’s garage one night and Josh allows her to just be there. Night after night she keeps coming back, and a tentative understanding develops. They are both loners who work hard to keep others away, but in each other they find comfort – there are no questions and no judgements. They seem to just ‘get’ each other, and take each other as they are, offering nothing but unconditional acceptance. Over time their lives become more and more intertwined and they come to rely on each other, and start to fall for each other.
“When you look at her what do you feel?… Joy, fear, frustration, longing, friendship, anger, need, despair, love, lust?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“All of it.”
But how do two very broken people overcome the horrors of their past to get a chance at a happy ending?
I so loved this story! Told from the POVs of both Nastya and Josh, there is a lot of time spent inside of their heads, watching them do what they need to do in order to try and live with the trauma of their lives, and coming to realize the impact that they are having on each other. As their relationship progresses, the banter is brilliant, with lots of teasing flirtiness thrown in, and the UST builds to epic proportions until a very natural and realistic romance develops. And I loved every minute of it!
“I wished my mother was here tonight, which is stupid, because it’s an impossible wish.” He shrugs and turns to me, drowning the smile that cracks me every time.
“It’s not stupid to want to see her again.”
“It wasn’t so much that I wanted to see her again, ” he says, looking at me with the depth of more than seventeen years in his eyes. “I wanted her to see you.” ”
Nastya and Josh are both incredible characters! Both so strong, but with a vulnerability about them that will break your heart. They go through so much in the story, but despite the tragedy of it all, they make a life with each other, and they share some truly gorgeous moments.
“She leans over to see what I’m reading and tilts her head just enough so that it just barely grazes my shoulder and even the slightest contact from her makes me feel home. It’s instinctual. I turn toward her and kiss her hair before I realize what I’ve done.
…
I wonder if the impossible has happened. That this, us, she and I, we have become normal. As soon as the word enters my mind, I know it’s the wrong one. We haven’t become normal, we’ve become expected. And not just by everyone at school. I’ve come to expect us, too. I expect her. I expect her here. I expect her at home. I expect her in my life.”
The story is a very slow build, and very much character driven, but it’s amazing, and it is told beautifully! Katja Millay has an incredible way with words, getting us right into the heart of the story, and feeling everything that Nastya and Josh go through. I was in tears several times reading about their heartache, and watching them find some happiness. And then the last part of the book ripped my heart out (repeatedly!) as Josh and Nastya finally start to face all that they have endured in the past.
“I say Sunshine and then she shatters.
All the pieces of all the girls go flying and I’m holding the one who’s left.”
With an amazing cast of characters (shout out to Drew – I loved him! Dealing with his own issues, he was still there for his friends), this was an incredibly emotional, powerful story of family, friendship, love, loss, and getting a second chance to start all over again. Both heartbreaking and uplifting, I absolutely loved it.
5 incredible stars.
P.S. Thank you so much to my reading buddies who helped me through this one!!! I definitely needed the support!!