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Review

4.5 stars

HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS AN INTENSE READ! Descriptively horrific, but absolutely beautiful, this book took me on a wild ride and even though it was hard at times, it was so, so good!

Following on from It Ain’t Me, Babe, this book plunges us back into the world of the Hades Hangmen MC. The Club operates way outside of the law, and there is no sugar-coating. These boys are wild, violent and highly sexed, and we get up close and person with all aspects of their lives – constantly! And loving the life is the Club’s VP and biggest manwhore, Ky. Raised in the club, this is the only life he knows and he revels in it.

Better to be on Hades’s side, the side of sin. At least you know where you’re going when you meet the boatman. Don’t need to live striving to be something you’re not. And the best part of it? You can have a shitload of fun living all kinds of fucked-up wrong, but it feels oh so fuckin’ right!

In the first book of the series, the MC rescued Mae (from book 1) and her ‘sisters’ from a cult where they were essentially kept as sexual slaves. The young women had been raised in the commune and brainwashed into believing that they were Cursed – beautiful and desirable to the point where they tempt men into sin. Treated as whores, they were conditioned to believe that the only way to save their souls was through ritual ‘joinings’. Now under the protection of the MC, the women are exposed to the real world for the first time, and the most devout of them, Lilah, wants nothing more than to return to the life that she knew. She is utterly shattered being away from the commune and, terrified that being surrounded by such sin will damn her to hell, she rejects everything and everybody (with the exception of her two ‘sisters’), and her fear and confusion is heartbreaking.

“I am so scared… I am so scared of everything… of your world… of you… I do not want to be taken against my will again… I am so afraid.”

Ky was the one who rescued Lilah from the commune and was immediately enthralled by her, but as much as he wants her, he knows how scared she is of him and his world and he’s been told to keep his hands off by his best friend and Club Prez, Styx. Lilah considers Ky to be a demon (albeit a good looking demon), and is terrified by him – especially knowing that he is attracted to her physically, further reinforcing her ‘Cursed’ status. But they are forced together when Ky is charged with protecting Lilah, while at the same time getting her out of her shell and orienting her to the real world (well, the real world according to a badass MC).

“Gotta take life by the balls at some point and squeeze those fuckers with the skill of a whore.”

I really enjoyed the dynamic between Ky and Lilah. Ky is a violent killer who lives a life of crime and cares little for anything outside of sex, booze and his brothers. Lilah is pure and innocent, but she has a determined strength about her, and even though she accepts the need to learn about her new reality, she is still resistant. Her “Jesus freak” ways are extreme, and her constant preaching got a little tiresome, but Ky’s complete lack of filter kept things entertaining.

“Oh great, more Bible shit. Just what my fuckin’ pounding hangover needs!”
Feeling annoyed and gaping at his disregard of the Lord’s written word, I muttered, “John 4:8. It is worthy of your respect.”
“Got it,” Ky said in amusement. “Gonna write down that worthy shit, frame it, and hang it on my wall.”

And then comes the shift as Lilah starts to open up more to the world around her, trusting Ky and warming to him as he shows his tender side while guiding her through her journey. And it’s gorgeous!

“You are not that way with me. You are caring. You are loving. You are my teacher, my protector. You keep me safe. Ky, you are my safety.”

Lilah starts to see Ky as the most important person in her world, and watching Ky-the-super-slut tame his wild ways as he falls for the lost and innocent girl is absolutely gorgeous! It happens slowly, as it needs to, and it’s definitely not a smooth ride, but seeing these two completely opposite characters find common ground and develop a soul-deep connection is really special. They shouldn’t love each other, they shouldn’t even inhabit the same world, but they do, and somehow it works.

“Why am I so important for you to save? I am a burden thrust upon you.”
Gripping her finger, I brought it to my lips and kissed it, my chest almost exploding as I confessed, “Because I fuckin’ love you, Li… I’m fuckin’ insane over you. You ain’t no burden.”
…
“I fuckin’ love your crazy pilgrim ass.”

But Lilah is still haunted by her demons, and those from her past are hell-bent on revenge, and this is where the book takes a turn for the dark, and OMFG it is INTENSE! I was literally sitting on the edge of my seat reading parts of this book. It’s heartbreaking, disturbing and incredibly graphic, and by the time I got through it I felt like I’d been run over! My emotions were all over the place.

This is definitely not an easy read, and the book contains a lot of triggers – pedophilia, rape, sexual abuse, self-harm, torture, extreme violence and murder, as well as the nature of life within a hard-core MC, so make sure you’re prepared for it before you dive in. It’s now the morning after I finished this book, and I’m still gobsmacked by the intensity of it and my reaction to it. Just looking at that cover, I feel completely haunted, but I’m still overwhelmed by the beauty of the story. And that is all due to Tillie Cole’s writing. She has woven an amazing story, and done a wonderful job with it. The darkness of Ky’s world and all that Lilah has been through is graphically and emotionally portrayed, yet it is woven effortlessly with the beauty of the love story, the wonder of Lilah’s ‘awakening’, and the all-consuming nature of their coming together. I was completely absorbed into the world, and the story enthralled me right through to the last page.

“Before you I was vacant of love. Now I am replete. Before you I lived without hope. Now I am inspired. Before you I was broken. Now I am whole.”
“Lilah,” I rasped, fighting a fucking lump in my throat at her words. I tapped over my heart with my fist and said, “You’re in here, Li. You’re fuckin’ always in here.”

And through it all, there are threads started for more books in the future. Apart from Flame and Maddie, there could easily be at least two other books coming. And speaking of Flame… holy shit, the man is possibly one of the most unique characters ever to get his own book. I am so looking forward to seeing how Tillie Cole turns him into a romantic hero.

I loved this book. At times it hurt, and I was disgusted and appalled by some of the goings on, but overall it’s an uplifting and beautiful story about love, hope and redemption, and I couldn’t put it down.

4.5 stars.