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Blurb
Blake Carson can’t afford to have a life. Between working full-time as a tattoo artist and caring for his disabled twin brother Jacob, his plate is more than full – and he prefers it that way.
But his meticulous planning is turned on its head when he meets the upbeat and beautiful Audrey Wright and her butterfly tattoo.
Now, through a complicated maze of coincidence and fate, Blake begins to question if maybe there could be more to his life than just work and Jacob.
That is, if the guilt doesn’t eat him alive first.
With the help of Dr. Vanessa Travetti and a girl he doesn’t think he deserves, can Blake convince himself that even the bad guy deserves a happy ending?
Review
3.5 stars
This is a love story, but it’s also so much more than that. It’s a dramatic and emotional story of a broken, tortured man living with his demons who meets a woman who helps him finally find the strength to face them and to fight for the life that he wants. It’s a simple premise, but this is a multi-layered story with depth, and Kingsley writes it well.
It took me a while to get through this book, and it’s been a few days since I finished it, and I’m still sitting here trying to gather my thoughts, so please bear with me as I purge my feels and hopefully come to a rating at the end of it.
Blake is a talented tattoo artist whose life revolves around his work, and caring for his disabled twin brother, Jake. Tormented by events from his past, he has few friends, no social life to speak of, and he avoids anything which has the potential to divert his attention away from Jake or his job. And then he meets Audrey.
Audrey comes into Blake’s studio asking for a butterfly tattoo. It’s all very meaningful for her, and it becomes a bit of a ‘moment’ for them before she leaves. And then they Audrey continues to show up in Blake’s life. She makes it clear that she’s interested in him, and of course he does his best to push her away, but slowly and surely, she chips away at his walls, and things begin to change. She opens up to him, he slowly does the same, and they become a part of each other’s lives, forcing Jake to begin to question everything.
She left me terrified.
Terrified of letting her in. Terrified of letting her go. Terrified of the day she’d finally open her eyes and see me for the person that I am – paranoid, surely, hateful.
Terrified.
This book is written entirely in Blake’s POV, so we get to see all that he is thinking and feeling, and though I’m a big fan of a tortured hero, for me, Blake came across as a bit of a doormat. He just accepts everybody’s crap, thinks so poorly of himself and is very much resigned to a bland existence. I get that he’s been through, and continues to go through, hell. He is dealing with a lot, and as the story progressed, I could see that we meet Jake at a low point of his life, and this is only the start of his journey. But it did take me a while to warm up to him.
Audrey is such an intriguing character. Bright and bubbly with a strong faith and seemingly endless enthusiasm, I honestly didn’t know what she saw in Blake in the beginning. Sure, he’s gorgeous, but he’s a bit of a dick and doesn’t treat her nicely – he doesn’t really show any redeeming qualities at all, really – and yet she persists in pursuing him. Why? I’m not sure, and it took me a while to warm to her as well. But she is patient, kind and understanding, and she eagerly and earnestly fights for her man – even before he’s really hers.
“There are certain thing in our lives – certain people – that are just supposed to be there. We don’t choose them, or what they’ll mean to us; they’re just a part of who we are.”
…
“And what is it you think I am to you?” …
Without hesitation, she answered, “You’re the man I’m meant to love.”
You’ve got to admire a woman who puts it all out there like that!
Like I said, I guess we have to see Blake at the bottom before he begins his fight to deal with his demons and take charge of his life, and once that started to happen, I became more invested. I loved watching him slowly start to let Audrey in, to admit that he had feelings for her and that he wanted and needed her by his side. Audrey turns his life right around, and seeing him acknowledge that and allow it to happen leads to some amazing character development which was beautiful to watch.
“You make me so fucking vulnerable, Audrey, and I hate it so much. I fucking hate that I don’t have a choice in any of this shit, and that nothing makes sense anymore. But I love you, and I guess that’s all that really needs to make sense.”
Once they were together and Jake was starting to take more control of his life, I definitely began to enjoy the story more. There is drama, heartache, sweet moments which had me grinning into my kindle, and real character progression, and I loved watching him deal with it all.
The storyline with Blake’s brother was just beautiful. They have such an incredible bond and the moments with them together just melted my heart. It ties in really well with the family drama, which is shocking at times, but it all forms a picture of Blake’s past and how he became the man he is.
There are a whole series of coincidences in the story, and discussion of spirituality and signs are sprinkled throughout the book. They didn’t really resonate with me, which is probably why I didn’t feel the story as much as I would have liked, but I was happy at the way it all played out, I loved seeing Blake find his happiness and take charge of his life, and I loved the happy ending.
This is my first read by Kelsey Kingsley. I’ve wanted to read her for a while now, and I’m looking forward to checking out more of her work soon.
Definitely a good read – 3.5 stars.
An Advanced Review Copy was generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review
Author Bio
Kelsey Kingsley is the author of nine, almost ten, novels. She lives in New York with her family and a cat named Ethel. She loves tattoos, music, makeup, and Frasier reruns. Kelsey is a Slytherin. She curses a lot, and she fucking hates cheese.
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